Husband 's Strange Behaviour on China Business Trip

Posted by heather47203 (540 days ago)

If someone would have told me yeaterday that I'd be writting this today I would have said they were nuts! But here I am in a strange position. My husband is on his way back from a buisness trip to China. He has been gone a week and nothing in the past week has been suspicious. Yesterday on his way home he had a day lay over in Shangai. I called and woke him up as he had asked and told me he planned to do some shopping (for me and our children) to fill his day. Of course I was worried about his saftey (only his second time to China and real first time venturing out)he assured me he would stay close to the hotel. I called him late (day time his time) and wanted to talk before I went to bed...Here is where it gets strange He informed me he was in a tea house (he is 33 yrs. old) with 3 strangers (2 females one male late twenties) that had approaced him outside his hotel and wanted to walk with him. I of course said are you nuts!! He said he would call me back later. An hour later he called. Saying these strangers had taken his picture, and befriended him. They took him to a tea house which was very formal. TO make a long story short, he realized at the hotel he paid the entire bill ($215.00) for the tea and was asked by the single female out the group for his e-mail! He gave it to her!!! I was shocked, first that he'd go sight seeing and have a formal tea with perfect strangers in a forgein place, but at the end to give out his e-mail to a single girl? Only after several angry calls and nermous questions did he admit the giving of his e-mail?
Is this normal behavior? Are people in China this friendly? He says he believes that they told the woman who charged them to split the bill and she just made a mistake and that they did not rip him off? Does this sound suspicious? Giving your e-mail to some CHinese woman? I have no idea what to think??? Please help!!!! I hear Chinese woman are very aggresive.

(I am based in Other)

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Posted by Totty (540 days ago)

I was in Shanghai with friends, ther were 2 men, 2 women and 5 kids all walking together in Nanjing Road.
Single woman comes up to the two blokes whilst holding their childrens hands and blatantly says ' you two wanna come with me for good time', i literally dropped my ice-cream, i was standing a foot behind my husband when she said this.

I wouldn't read too much into this, he's probably realised what a fool he was going to tea with these strangers, then being stung for the bill and then giving out his email.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by heather47203 (540 days ago)

Thanks so much. All my friends have said going along, is strange, but giving his e-mail? He says he just wanted to go, I say he could have given a bogus address or said he didn't have one, something doesn't seem right...He says she never even flirted...It seems like in everything I've read, prostitution is not a big deal in that country.She supposidly knew he was married,had 5 children, if she e-mails,I think something is definatly up. Thanks again.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by KDF76 (540 days ago)

Hi there,

I was in Shanghai a couple of weeks ago and was wandering around looking at the sights when the exact same thing happened to me. I too think I ended up paying the entire bill even though I asked to split it, but how did I know - they spoke Chinese and I didn't. Anyway no harm was done and I put it all down to the experience.

They also took a photo and I grabbed one of them and we exchanged emails but I've never heard from them.

I would not worry about it - tea houses are a big thing in Shanghai and it's a cool experience to sit through a formal ceremony.

He got ripped off for sure (as I did) but I wouldn't put it down to anything more than that.

My husband had a huge laugh when I told him about my teahouse adventure.

Hope this puts your mind at rest.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zalca (540 days ago)

at least he told you! maybe he wanted a bit of attention. men are strange. anyway, there's no real harm done. just make sure he knows to be more careful! and let it go :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by dss (540 days ago)

More of a rip off in terms of footing their tea.

In Shanghai, the "gals" are pretty bold. I encountered this 3x - in Nanjing street and also in front of our hotel, they had the cheek to ask my husband whether he need company. The 3rd occasion was when a male colleague(first trip in China) was approached when he was taking photos and I was just a ft away.
Be careful not to open hotel room's door without checking, as some of the local hotels close an eye on the presence of these "gals", who will go knocking on the hotel rooms & refusing to leave. If possible, select the international chain of hotels. I find them more stringent in security for the above.
It is pretty safe to move around, just be cautious and keep to the main roads and take registered taxi.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by cara (540 days ago)

it's been MANY years since i've been to shanghai, but back when i was there, strangers approached me all the time (single female).

when i was in beijing, back in 1996, almost started a second Tiananmen Square "incident"...i wasn't feeling well and sat down, waiting for the flag lowering ceremony. someone came over and asked if they could practice their english. i said, "sure". within minutes, i was completely surrounded by about 50-100 people, just watching me talk to this person. a man, from HK, broke through the crowd and said, "you better get up and move around, they're getting excited!" i thought he was talking about the people. he was actually talking about the police, who were converging on the area with hands on their guns....this was just a few days after the 6th anniversary of june 4...


what i'm trying to say is, it may have been completely innocent and they just wanted to talk to a foreigner. in all honesty, what can she do with an email address???

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by lostgypsy (539 days ago)

This is a VERY well known issue/problem in Shanghai alone! i AM SURPRISED you or he had not read about it from Lonely Planet or someone hear telling you about it. I am American,and I lived in Canton (Guangzhou) for five years and I ALWAYS heard these stories about the "Tea Girls"...usually it happens in the bars, and the guest gets cohersed into coming into a place they don't know and before they know it, they get charged a bill for several hundred dollars. Hence the name "Shanghaied". NOW the big ploy are college students; it will always envolve a pair of lovely girls in all cases (as mentioned above--they get a percentage) who will envite a tourist into a restaurant in the DAY TIME! They are getting clever. I have yet to hear of this happening in Canton or Beijing, but there is something that has been happening in Canton lately.

A friend of mine, a businessman who lived there longer than me and spoke the language even, got invited by a stranger, a MAN to join him and a few friends for a massage (in the day time). He said he would pay the bill, etc.

They end up at a place where they lead you into private cubicles (no doors, just a curtain) for two people or so. My friend went into one cubicle with one of his friends, while the stranger occupied another.

After a two hour massage, the two friends had dozed off (It is very possible their tea was spiked, but the massage alone would put anyone to sleep) and when they woke up, all their belongings were gone!

This is a fairly new ploy, but the "tea girls in Shanghai" are notorious.

Suggest to your husband before he travels ANYWHERE in the world to not be a total sod and do some reading first!

Cheers!
Michael

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by mazza (538 days ago)

Hi,
We just returned from a weekend in Shanghai and after reading other people's post's here I think that we may have been a part of the teahouse scam!
My partner and I were taking in the view's of the Pearl Tower when three students (1 guy and 2 girl's) approached us and started talking with us.
Before we knew it our new found friends took us to a traditional tea ceremony, something they told us only happens every three years.
We were then hit with a hefty $230 AUD tea bill (which was apparently our half). The student's told us they too thought it was expensive but I did at least enjoy the tea ceremony.
The students took our photo and we exchanged emails, a little strange if they were just out to rip us off.
I guess we were silly and too trusting but hey it's a learning experience.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sylvialili (538 days ago)

wow, AUD230???!!! they are pretty aggressive, aren't they?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by KDF76 (538 days ago)

Mazza,

Your students weren't from Bejing and on a group excursion to Shanghai as part of their university were they? - you were definately ripped off - my bill was about AUD$200 and I was told they were students also and I got the same story about the once in 3 year crap to. They picked me up outside the Museum - Like I said in my post above - I've put it down to the experience - even if it was an expensive one. It seemed so real at the time until I got the bill and I started to think it a bit fishy.

:)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kk11 (121 days ago)

ha ha!! this tread has given me a giggle! After receiving a bill for AUD 2000 (in Shanghai!!)''I started to think it was a bit fishy''. Thank goodness there remain such nice innocent people in the world.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by stillstinkerbelle (119 days ago)

He's a foreigner. He was a walking wallet to the female and her friends.

He gave his email most foolishly. No doubt she wants more out of him. Money.

It's not that mainland Chinese are bad, it's that most have not been taught any sort of religion or values.

It's like pure capitalism in a moral vacuum. Don't judge them by it, it's a product of cultural revolution meets 21st century materialism.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by stillstinkerbelle (119 days ago)

Tea can easily run 10 dollars per cup -- US dollars.

50-70 rmb per cup is not that odd in tourist places.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by notyou (106 days ago)

sounds like the tea ceremony is interesting. can you tell me what it is? is it more than just having tea?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by chicagorose (82 days ago)

Yes, I can't figure out why going out for tea is so special and expensive that you would need to con a tourist into paying for it. Does this tea get you high?

(I am based in Macau)

Posted by nanfmch (78 days ago)

In China, one important thing parents tell kids is you should never talk to a stranger when family/teacher are not around. For adult, talking to a stranger is fine, but following them to somewhere, I still think it is pretty strange, in China or any where else.

(I am based in Beijing)

Posted by perfection (70 days ago)

Your husband sounds like a babe in the woods. Scams are nothing new in places where tourists frequent. When your husband gets home, I'm sure you'll have him read this thread, and speak with him about your concerns. It is a reality that your husband will be hit upon by Chinese women here and especially in China, and yes, they are very aggressive. What's it to them? If they don't get your guy, they'll get someone else's - that's the mentality.

(I am based in Hong Kong)