40's messing up...

Posted by anada (124 days ago)

hi,

how to deal with mid 40's who is a total head ache.
she been making big deal out out small thing and got few friends into bad terms already because of her gossip, to top it up it seems like she just making it all up.. she getting into my nerves...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by FKKC (124 days ago)

Avoid her!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by anada (123 days ago)

thnx.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Highlander (123 days ago)

get her a boyfriend to stay away from you.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by anada (123 days ago)

well she got husband and a child (teenager) that why i dont see the point of being so fussy in a very disturbing way...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Chinadoc (123 days ago)

Anada I am not sure how old you are yourself, but as one gets older one learns to deal with difficult people better. Remember her behaviour is all about her, not you, but how you choose to respond to her IS up to you. No-one can make you feel disturbed or get into your head without your permission, so you need to ask yourself why she upsets you so much, and why you are letting her "push your buttons" so effectively.

I think you only have two options...you can either discuss it with her which I guess will get you nowhere, or you can simply choose not to buy into her manipulations....which yes, may mean ending the relationship if she gets to you so much.

I hope this helps!

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by anada (122 days ago)

I am late 20"s, actually yes we try to talk to her about it and she went crazy saying she such a open person etc... which is a big B--- S---t, well it really bothers me as I am in the spotlight as of now and i know she wont stop until she ruin's another relationship (friends)im not saying im really good, of course friends talk some nonse things sometimes but she really make the story really big.until what you really mean is pretty not the same as what she is saying.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Chinadoc (121 days ago)

Yes I know the type, which is why I thought talking to her would be wasting your time. She sounds like really bad news honey, can you just cut off contact with her?

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by rachaelhk (121 days ago)

Keep your cool around her, treat your mutual friends with respect, don't talk trash about her; and prove that you are a better, more mature person than she is. Don't get emotional about things she says, simply deny them and don't get drawn into long arguments. Let it all bounce off. Let people see who is the real problem...because if you DO engage her in big screaming matches, or name-calling, or whatever...they might just think it's you, not her...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by anada (119 days ago)

hi all
thank you for all the advice.

i think i would in deed rather cut her out, the only problem is that we have a lot of common friends and we normaly see each other for playgroups and stuff, do i just totally ignore her?last time we met, i try to ignore her but she's talking like crazy right in front of us, if she keeps on doing that.... personaly i can loose my control and i dont know what i can do to her.

(I am based in Hong Kong)